The Truth About Fear In Abstract Art- Nancy Hillis MD
The Truth About Fear: The One Thing That Affects Everything
A little note about Self Doubt: several artists have stated: “The problem is me” or some variation of this such as:
- I’m not good enough
- I’m my biggest roadblock
- I don’t trust myself when it comes to creating a ‘good’ composition
- I don’t trust myself enough to paint authentically
- I lack confidence
- I fear being judged negatively.
Self doubt is a central issue for artists
Self doubt is a central issue for artists, writers, poets, composers, and creators of all ilk.
In psychology when a client comes in the room we think about how many people are really in that room (the internalized voices of parents, siblings, friends, and others).~
- When you show up in your studio and face the canvas, how many people are in the room with you?
- How many critical inner narratives are in your head?
As you push the envelope of your painting…risking, making bold moves, experimenting, surprising yourself…
- Do you find yourself feeling uneasy?
- Do doubts surface that say: Go back to your usual way of painting…Who do you think you are? No one’s going to like this. This is ugly!
Yet what you really want is to express YOU…
But you’re afraid. You’re unsure. You think perhaps you should play it safe and go back to your usual way of painting.
You Must Activate the Attitude of Allowing
Activate An Attitude Of Possibility-Nancy Hillis, MD
Activate An Attitude Of Allowing- Nancy Hillis, MD
There’s a truth about fear in art: it affects everything.
I met with an artist yesterday whose first words to me were:
“I’m second guessing everything I do”
Working with clients in psychotherapy for years I know to pay special attention to the opening salvo of a session…because it’s often the most potent expression of their predicament.
At the root of what artists struggle with is fear
And fear shows up in many forms…
Self doubt, second guessing, over thinking, avoiding, procrastinating, lacking confidence, feeling overwhelmed, repeating what’s worked in the past, inner criticism, fear of being judged, perfectionism, feeling like a ‘pretend’ artist, resignation, and so forth.
What’s your single biggest challenge?
I recently created a survey and asked this question: When it comes to showing up and creating abstract paintings what’s your single biggest challenge?
Over 200 artists responded.
The results of the survey thus far show that the single biggest challenge most abstract artists face on a daily basis is:
Self Doubt
Several artists stated: “The problem is me” or some variation of this such as:
- I’m not good enough
- I’m my biggest roadblock
- I don’t trust myself when it comes to creating a ‘good’ composition
- I don’t trust myself enough to paint authentically
- I lack confidence
- I fear being judged negatively
Self doubt is a central issue for artists, writers, poets, composers, and creators of all ilk.
In psychology when a client comes in the room we think about how many people are really in that room (the internalized voices of parents, siblings, friends, and others).
When you show up in your studio and face the canvas, how many people are in the room with you? How many critical inner narratives are in your head?
As you push the envelope of your painting…risking, making bold moves, experimenting, surprising yourself…
Do you find yourself feeling uneasy? Do doubts surface that say: Go back to your usual way of painting…Who do you think you are? No one’s going to like this. This is ugly!
Yet what you really want is to express YOU…
But you’re afraid. You’re unsure. You think perhaps you should play it safe and go back to your usual way of painting.
Years ago I listened to the poet David Whyte talk about the struggle between the soul and the ego. He said: “your soul doesn’t care if you get your painting hung on a gallery wall…your soul just wants you to paint”.
The ego wants external validation…even at the cost of your own expression (so you might end up painting to please others) whereas your soul just wants you to explore, play, experiment, and express you.
So What Is The Solution To Fear & Self Doubt?
In the end the most astonishing and alive paintings are those that aren’t predictable. There’s no formula to create them. They arise from exploration, experimentation, and from searching and finding your way as you paint. They come from the place of ‘not knowing’.
Ultimately It’s About Your Mindset
It’s about how you hold the experience in your mind and body. Do you allow yourself to show up and be present…moment to moment?
Do you give yourself permission to risk and play and not know what’s going to happen?
Do you search and keep finding your way as you paint?
Do you allow the expression of whatever comes out of you without censorship?
Cultivate An Attitude Of Experimentation
One of the most potent paths of navigating self doubt and fear that inevitably arises as we create is to imagine painting as experimentation.
The very nature of experimentation is ‘not knowing’ ahead of time what’s going to happen.
The idea is to show up, stay present, search and find your way as you paint.
Imagine your art as experimental work and exploratory studies…and carry your exploration and experimentation all the way through the painting to wherever you decide to stop (we’ll discuss the rich topic of stopping/completing/resolving/finishing a painting in another post).
In the meanwhile, I would love to hear your experiences of dealing with fear and self doubt when creating your paintings.
With gratitude,
Nancy
P.S. NOW is the perfect time to create. Delve deeper into the inner sources of your creativity and art with my best-selling books, available on Amazon.
This is the existential moment- this is the time where we see what our life is about. We notice what is meaningful and alive for us.
You might be thinking…I’m just too blocked, too down, too scared or frozen….or even just shy….
You may be feeling that you can’t create now….
But I say to you that you’re a creator…you’re an artist and artists create.
And there are many ways to create and be creative….
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The Art of the Possible Book Series
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Dear Nancy this article Is about me. I’m an artist in many art areas and an abstract beginner. Your article helped me to understand what am I going through and how many “people “are in my studio. Thank you so much
Dear Nancy, I’ve been struggling to paint something I like, but it seems that’s not possible. I don’t know how to risk, because when I do my piece finishes in the trash…
I have been trying to work intuitively to produce abstract paintings…having got nowhere I started adding color and eventually ended up with a floral painting I am really happy with .. I would never have gotten there if I hadn’t started with “No Idea” and I have no memory of where the transition from abstract to some-thing happened… probably the most fun painting I have ever had !
Can I send a painting of mine? I don’t paint because I think I cant do good painting. I cant do a perfect painting and I don’t start . A a lazy guy who think to start later, but later never come to me.
Hi Mohammad,
What you’re describing is not unusual. This is the part of the inner landscape that can stop us in our tracks. It’s essentially self doubt and inner criticism. This is what I write a great deal about. Keep reading and you’ll see that you’re not alone. We all face what Clarissa Pinkola Estes calls the “internal predator”. The thing is…is to go ahead anyway. You can read my blog post called Zero to One. This may help. Thanks, Nancy
Dear Nancy, I worked for years as an art therapist with clients and was successful in finding ways of helping my clients use art to express themselves in ways that are therapeutic. However, personally as a painter I have really struggled to become more free in my expression. Recently, I started working as a textile Eco printer and Dyer. This was total experimentation for me and for everyone else trying to do it. And finally, that experience has taught me more than I ever imagined possible about allowing things to happen without judgement. Anyway, I appreciate your video and I look forward to learning from you in the Artist’s Journey class. All the best!
Dear Dreama,
Thank you so much! Yes- it’s amazing what happens when you finally activate an attitude of allowing and deeply explore and experiment. It’s a wonderful thing.
Warmly,
Nancy
Dear Nancy,
This is the first time I am expressing to you having read your articles and seen your works very recently.
I am not trained in the foundation of art education but been learning for years privately in creating my art.My journey from figurative to abstract feels like something I wish to do and so I have been struggling between realism and converting to that to abstract but the teachers seem to be so far advanced that after so many years I am still at the place I feel I started namely lost on my own .
I loved the way you have expressed freely but I tend to search for a topic which at the moment I am doing is water and rocks.
Could you please guide me a little.I also have a tendency to look at works of Kline and saw the freedom in your art which drove me to expressing freely.
I am from India.I visit US very often .I have worked & familiar with the US library in New Jersey .
It’s tones that I am struggling with.Please do try and reply
Thanking you,
Pratibha Pradhan.
Dear Pratibha,
Thank you for writing and for being here. I understand how difficult the journey can be from figurative to increasingly non-objective, abstract expressive. It’s not unusual to feel lost. Indeed, as artists we’re continually searching and finding our way in the terra incognito, in the mystery. I love the freedom of Kline as well. I wish you well on your journey to expressing your deepest work. Thank you, Nancy
This article is “spot on!” Thank you for getting right to the core of where I am! I’m sending this to my painting buddy as well as my painting teacher, who is teaching us to play.
Thank you Isa. It’s wonderful that you have a teacher who’s teaching you to play! I love that!
This is exactly what’s happening to me – I’m having to really intentionally let myself play and explore without expecting to end up with a painting I will love, or that someone else will love.
Exactly, Samyak! It’s really about allowing ourselves to play and experiment and trust the intelligence of our own gestures. It’s about the process…and letting go of what the strategic mind wants: outcome. It’s about stepping into the mystery of ‘not knowing’…and being surprised by what bubbles up from the unconscious. Some of these paintings we’ll love and some of them we may think are ugly or awkward. It’s about embracing all of it. Thanks for writing Samyak!
At long last I am retired and can work on my art full-time. I have the studio of my dreams and all the supplies and materials one could ever dream of but I am afraid. Why am I afraid of the thing that gives me the most joy in the whole world?
You’re not alone Deborah! I believe that creating brings up fear in its various forms (self doubt, inner criticism, second guessing, and so forth) because we’re essentially making meaning. It matters to us…and our paintings are mirrors of us. We feel vulnerable and start doubting ourselves….worrying that it’s not good enough, that no one will like it, and so forth. I think it comes with the territory of creating and yet I believe there are many ways to work with this fear and go ahead anyway. Thank you for writing to me Deborah. More to come on this topic! .
Hi Nancy, Your title above looks like the perfect cover for your book. I thought it was your book when I first saw it! Diane
Hi Diane, ahh….thank you so much! That’s a great idea! Hey I was thinking about you yesterday! We must be on the same wavelength!